Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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