Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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