She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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