Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
