In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
