Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
