i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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