Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
