I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
