She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sorry about my life...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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