do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
