Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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