haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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