I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
