You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
