Don't make out with my wife yet
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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