I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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