I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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