I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
