3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I didn't notice because vodka
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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