at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
