Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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