Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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