Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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