Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You've changed since you got that strap on
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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