i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
