waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
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I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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