Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
