quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
