I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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