So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
