She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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