After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
