So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
