Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
