you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
