just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize