Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
