This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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