Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
