I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize