i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
