The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
