Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Alive.
So much puke
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
