you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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