did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
