Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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