I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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