is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
