Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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