he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
