Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize