even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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