I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
