Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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